shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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