Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
is it fun? or sober?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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