i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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