that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
