We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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