She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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