so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
