we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
