I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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