She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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