I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
