I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
