just tell him i said nine months
I am spending my child support on dildos
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
