Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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