we're blogging at a bar
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
