In America we eat man semen.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
