i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
