This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
