i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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