Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
