Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
