You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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