You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Randomize
