My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
