I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
