Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
