He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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