How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
