how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
