In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
