I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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