I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
love makes seman taste better
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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