i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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