You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
