She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
