Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
