She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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