Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
