dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she looked like the before picture.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
