I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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