he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
