I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize