I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
