im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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