how can u be prego again
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
