found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
