so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
