david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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