so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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