You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize