I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
