and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
