What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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