What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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