i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
