we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
