Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
PANTIES FOUND
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