i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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