its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
