Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
me + whiskey = a bad person
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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