so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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