Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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