Apparently you make a good broom.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
